I Never Metaphysics I Didn't Like

Have you ever transcended Space and Time? Because apparently Darren Daulton has. Those who were fortunate to catch Sportscenter on Sunday, April 9, were delighted to a lengthy interview with the former Philly. For those who didn't, you are probably wondering what Mr. Daulton has been up to since he retired from baseball. Oh, you know, just the occasional time travel and sometimes visiting other dimensions. He also has this message: on December 21, 2012 at 11:11 GMT, the world as we know it will end and those ready will leave this earth to live in a new plane of existence.

You see, Darren Daulton is a firm believer of metaphysics. He believes that the universe is made up of numerical synchronicities and that all matter is made up of energy vibrating at different frequencies. If one is conscious of this energy, then they would be able to manipulate "reality". For example, Daulton believes a rosing bag "is just a mirage of innumerable particles constantly speeding up or slowing down." People are unaware of the Fourth or Fifth Dimensions, which allow people to tap into this energy field to manipulate the universe.

Daulton began his existential journey when he hit a line-drive single at Wrigley field to win the game. After the game he broke down sobbing because he felt he wasn't in his body when he hit that ball. As he dove into the world of metaphysics, he also enjoyed driving drunk. In 2001, he was in a horrific traffic accident and charged with a DUI, but he claims that he was intentionally run off the road because of his business ties with the FBI and the White House. A little wife-slapping here and there, another DUI, and Daulton found himself a nice three-month stint in prison. He then truly explored the metaphysical relm while in prison and wrote his ideas and beliefs into a manuscript titled "If They Only Knew."

Now, I think that there is some credence to Daulton's beliefs. There are many well-educated people with similar beliefs like Aristotle, Plato, and Einstein. Unfortunately, Sportscenter makes Daulton look like a crazy wife-beater who is part of some astrophyics cult. Darren Daulton does not give a fuck though. However, I don't know if the academic community want Darren Daulton as the spokesperson for metaphysics.

As for the end of the world thing, I remember one evening Beef handing me a piece of paper with "12/21/12" and telling me nothing more. After a little internet research, I discovered that the Mayan calendar believes the world will end on December 21, 2012. Now, I've never even seen a Mayan, therefore, I think they are stupid. But just in case: http://www.survive2012.com/ (also includes a nice discussion on dragons).

A number of metaphysical theories are discussed in the movies "What The #$*! Do We Know?," "Donnie Darko,"(hmm, Darren Daulton = Donnie Darko, coincidence?) and "I Heart Huckabees" which I enjoy. I watched "What the #$*!" after eating a Colwell Cookie and my brain actually melted out of my nose and into my popcorn, which I later consumed. It seriously made my brain hurt to watch that movie because it mind-fucks you, hard and dry. I don't think I am ready to transcend space and time yet, but when things are going bad, I can just take comfort in the words of Darren Daulton, "Reality is created and guarded by numeric patterns that overlap and awaken human consciousness, like a giant matrix or hologram."

Um, yeah.