This Lady Is On To Something
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!!!?????!!
I want some fucking answers Government!!
Every once in awhile, a blog comes along that changes the face of the internet as we know it. This is a steaming pile of crap.
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!!!?????!!
It's been a long time off but after a lot of personal reflection, I've decided to revive the blog. There is just too much good stuff out there that I have not voiced my strong hatred for. Expect updates about 5-7 times a week followed by months of nothing. Also, expect more wizards, preying mantiseses, and American propaganda.
This video has everything: condoned child abuse, Jesus Christ, Vietnamese, Pirates, hidden gold, and a jump-roping finale.
Bow before Brandon Roy because he is your savior.
''I love Brandon Roy,'' the Denver Nuggets' Carmelo Anthony said. ''I love his game. He's so smooth and carefree. It seems like he never turns the ball over. He sure doesn't seem like a rookie in this league. He's going to be The One in Portland.''
Not mine though, someone else's. It is better mainly because it is not written by me but by a dyslexic Native American and some kind of drug-addled Centaur.
Has there been a shittier band in the history of music? Nickelback makes the Insane Clown Posse look like Irving Berlin. I think they are the robot spawn of Clear Channel's scientists. (They probably have scientists right?) They pump out the same shitty album every year and all the radio stations play the shitty singles over and over. Unfortunately, I'm sure that all of us now know the words to a Nickelback song. If Clear Channel has the ability to brainwash us with Nickelback lyrics, who knows how far they could go? I am preparing my foil helmet now.
Concert Review
Nickelback gives fans a home town feel
By Jeff Gilbert
Special to The
For singer/guitarist Chad Kroeger it wasn't so much the kick-off show on the last leg of Nickelback's "All The Right Reasons" tour as it was a gig in his own backyard.
Hailing from "just up the street" in
Announcing the band's arrival with fireworks befitting Fourth of July-var's, Nickelback roared out of the gate with the full-throttle "Animals," barely stopping to refuel with the -- dare it be said -- grunge-sounding "Woke Up This Morning," from the 2003 multiplatinum CD, "Silver Side Up."
The rest of the 16-song set hit the sweet spot between muscular anthems ("Flat On The Floor," "Figured You Out") and lighter-waving power ballads ("How You Remind Me," "Someday"), a genre Nickelback all but redefined.
Having sold more than 25 million albums since shotgunning up the charts with the 2003 hit "How You Remind Me," and staying there with 2005's six-times platinum "All The Right Reasons," Nickelback delivered a show that sounded like a greatest-hits package -- because all their songs are hits.
Dressed in his mainstay rock attire of black T-shirt, jeans and boots -- which emphasized the everyman aspect of his songs -- Kroeger easily connected with the crowd. A self-proclaimed redneck, he told off-color jokes and instructed the road crew to get beer (
Drummer Daniel Adair's mid-set drum solo sounded like the shelling range at Fort Lewis, while guitarist Ryan Peake's turn in the spotlight with a cover of "Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)" was worthy of Metallica.
Thankfully, Mike Kroeger's robust bass didn't fall prey to the Tacoma Dome's notorious booming echo, as it did for the opening bands.
Encoring with the show-stopping "Rockstar," Nickelback's cheeky ode to fame-craving, the band proved with its big-chorus rock that it has truly earned, like the song says, a "bathroom they can play baseball in."
Nu-metal emo boys Three Days Grace and Breaking Benjamin, while enthusiastically received, were victims of opening-band syndrome: feedbacking mics, bass in the key of mud and three Duracells worth of lighting.
Copyright © 2006 The Seattle Times Company
(deep breath)“Nickelback delivered a show that sounded like a greatest-hits package -- because all their songs are hits.”
This sentence alone should win Jeff Gilbert the Pulitzer Prize easily.
“Kroeger easily connected with the crowd. A self-proclaimed redneck, he told off-color jokes and instructed the road crew to get beer (Corona, though one would have presumed Moosehead, the Canadian brand) for everyone in the audience.”
Holy Fuck. If Chad Kroeger offered me a beer I think I would take it and drink the entire bottle slowly while intensely staring into his eyes. When I drank the final drop I would suddenly sodomize him with the empty bottle and break it off inside his anus. Then I would take the blood and feces smeared shards and slash his face repeatedly until his face looked like piece of paper that someone played a bunch of games of tic-tac-toe on. But that's just me.
The rest of article allows Jeff to suck the dick of all the other members of the band. Yes, the other members of Nickelback share a communal dick, that's why they are the other members of Nickelback. I do like the line "Encoring with the show-stopping." – do you often redundantly make redundant comments about redundancy much?
Here is what the concert probably ended up really looking like:
Here is a website which shows how Nickelback can't even create their own original shitty songs and have to copy themselves. http://www.thewebshite.net/nickelback.htm. Somehow, Nickelback has managed to one-up Pink Floyd in the synchronicity game. Pink Floyd songs only go with movies, but Nickelback has somehow figured out how to make their songs synch-up with other Nickelback songs!
Here is a link to an NPR broadcast where they discuss this phenomenon:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4258547
So yeah, Nickelback sucks, but there's one final question you should ask:
Is Chad Kroeger a Saluki?