Day After Thanksgiving

Though this is not the day after Thanksgiving, I did think of this the day after Thanksgiving and now I am writing about it, so back off fuck wad. Anyways sorry about being a little harsh there, I just wanted to tell you something. I bet a common thought or declaratory statement is made thousands of times on the day after Thanksgiving. That thought is, "This is the best turkey sandwich I have ever eaten."
Let me tell you about my turkey sandwich. I went to Safeway and bought a demi baguette sandwich loaf or some crap like that. I toasted the loaf in the oven at 350 F. That's like 47 C for all you European assholes. Once the loaf was nicely toasted (I like it to be crunchy on the outside, but nice and soft in the middle, kind of like an octogenarian's pajina), I dissected the loaf and began to apply the necessary acuterments (is that even a word?). The first was a nice cream cheese spread. Then I applied a cranberry jelly. Lettuce and tomato were next. Then I used a mix of white and dark turkey meat to complete the sandwich. I bit into my creation and concluded that it was NOT the best turkey sandwich I have ever eaten. Maybe in the top 500.
Now I am a big fan of sandwiches and I'd have to say the best sandwich I have ever eaten is the first time I ate a Firecracker sub from Tubs. So to everyone who thought they were eating the best turkey sandwich of their lives yesterday: Shut your stupid talk hole you fucking liar.

Here is a brief list of things I hate right now. . .

1. People who lie about how great their sandwich is/was
2. Law School Exams
3. The War at Home (who is watching this show?)
4. The Real World: Austin (Thank god it is over so I don't have to waste 30 minutes a week watching some Boston fagotta whine about fucking some over-dependent white bitch)

Coming Soon

Watch out for Salmon Shake, coming to a state fair near you!