Why Internet, WHY!?!? pt. II

I don't really understand this website or why it was created. It simultaneously confuses and angers me, but I cannot let it continue to go unnoticed. So, here is a website devoted to one weirdo German's stories about Roy Orbison wrapped in Cling-film (plastic wrap).

P.S. Don't put my name in your comments.

Someone I don't know read my blog

I decided today to go back and look over some of my older blog entries and laugh at my own jokes. I was reading the post I made about the Insane Clown Posse. I looked at the comments and low and behold, an actual real-life Juggalo named Jaysun Ya Dead Homie read my story and decided to speak his Faygo-filled mind on it.
He seems to be a well-spoken individual and so I will now break down his comments sentence by sentence and mock him accordingly.

"Some Juggalos as we like to call ourselves, have in fact went on to lead producitve lives in society."
Oh, you call yourselves Juggalos? Thanks for that insider information, it wasn't clear before that you referred to yourself by any kind of name. I'm sure that some of you Juggalos go on to live "producitve" lives in society and because that word is meaningless I will assume that you meant that some of you go on to live meaningless lives in society. However, I understand that we all make the occasional typo from time to time and that you actually meant to say productive. But breaking down your sentence you say that "Some Juggalos" have went on to lead productive lives in society. The word "some" implies a quanitity that is more than zero, so in fact you are saying that more than zero juggalos have went on to lead productive lives. I will agree with that statement because there is probably at least one Juggalo who blew off his face with a shotgun thereby making society more productive by ridding it of one less retard.

"I, myself have been a follower of the insane clown posse for ten years and counting."
Better get yourself an abacus because I have a feeling these clowny fellas are gonna be sticking around for awhile.

"Yet, I maintain a great job as an electrical engineer, as well as being a loving father and husband."
Please tell your wife her butt stinks and put your baby up for adoption immediately. I am also guessing that the combined weight of your family would break most elevators.

"These so-called Juggaloes, put a bad taste in your mouth. Me included."
Now wait a second, I thought we had just gone over that you call yourselves "Juggalos", now you are referring to "Juggaloes?" Did you forget how to spell it in the 10 seconds since you first typed it? Let's get a little consistency here please. Also, that bad taste in your mouth might be from your wife's stinky butt. The bad taste in my mouth is from the Sanka I just drank.

"But to make fun of the music and blame the music artists themselves is truly stupid."
What is more stupid: being fat white trash wearing clown makeup and rapping about sticking bottles into your anus or making fun of people who choose to put themselves in the public sphere like that?

"I love my Juggalo roots and claim them as family, but in no way, shape or form would I hurt any individual in anyway."
I'm sure you love your Juggalo roots just as much as black people love their African roots. The history of the Juggalo in America is a beautiful tapestry weaved from nut hair and dingleberries.

"These kids shouild be whipped with a belt in my opinion."
Maybe a belt made of AIDS.

"P.s. Dont be fooled kids,,,,Hot Carls are not fun for the whole family."
I have no idea what you mean by this. But thanks?

"Oh and one other thing, pointing people out that are differant is nothing more than childish."
I have to disagree with you on that one, pointing out people who are different is what separates us from the animals, but even then I think a fat monkey with clown makeup on would be shunned by the rest of his flock, or whatever you call a large gathering of monkeys.

"Point out me an laugh at Hot Topic?"
I'm not sure what you are asking, but if you are asking me to point and laugh at you at Hot Topic I will do everything I can to accommodate your request.

"Maybe I could hurt a person, their feelings that is."
OOOOOHHHHH, SNAP!

"Some people prefer to break people down with their minds, not with snickers and jokes."
Ok there, I didn't realize I was dealing with someone with the ability to shoot mind bullets. I also have never tried to break someone down with a Snickers besides the time I forced one into the anus of my little brother and told him he was reverse pooping.

"Grow up!"
Says the husband and father with the clown makeup on his face.

Box Factory

Here is a pretty cool music video from DJ Shadow's latest album "The Outsider". This song features Lateef The Truthspeaker and Q-Tip.




This video made me think of that Simpsons episode where Bart takes a field trip to the box factory and then sneaks away and becomes the "I didn't do it" boy on Krusty's show.

Homer: Whaddaya mean, you lost him? He might have fallen into one of these machines! (sees Bart's hat on a box) Oh, my God, that's his lucky red hat. He's a box! My boy's a box! Damn you, a box!