People I Want to Punch in the Face

There are three people I want to punch in the face right now. I know you are not supposed to hit a guy with glasses, but what about a girl with glasses? What if she has a hearing aid? I'll talk more about that later but here are the people who need a nice face smashing. All three of them are girls so I don't know what that says about me. So here they are in reverse order.

3. The chubby faced redheadd girl who sits in the front right side of my class.
There is nothing that she does that makes her deserve a punch in the face, but her cheeks are just a little bit chubby and they look like they would be soft on my knuckles. She is not even fat, but just has that baby fat on her face . . . which I really want to punch. I'm sure that after I punched her in the face I would feel really bad about it. Until then, I can't look at her without wondering what it would be like to smash my fist right into her nose.

2. The stupid bitch with the stupid look on her face who sits in the front of my class.
I wouldn't have noticed this dumb cunt except I was looking at the chubby faced girl and saw her out of the corner of my eye. Why are you always looking around the class with that dumb grin? Every time I see you looking back at my direction I want to fold your teeth back to the roof of your mouth. She's always got this fucking look on her face like she is really enjoying the professor's lecture. Guess what bitch? That look does not make you look interesting and intellectual. In fact, that look makes you look like someone who wants both their eye sockets crushed with a cinder block. The only way I would fuck her would be from behind while stabbing her in the back and shoulders with a screwdriver.

1. The worthless twat with the hearing aid.
This bitch combines everything I hate. She is fat, but not hideously fat. She has an equally stupid look on her face like #2. She wears glasses. She is ugly. Of course, the hearing aid puts her over the top. Do you want some fucking sympathy from me just because your stupid ugly face can't hear anything? It's too bad you are deaf because I'm sure you would love the sound of your jaw being ripped off your face. Stop turning around with that fucking look on your face! It is not cute to stick your tongue out a little bit and smile like you are some kind of Japanese cartoon cat. I want to punch your face until it feels like bread dough. I hope you get raped with splintered piece of blasa wood bitch.

My Blog Has Been Read By A Robot . . . Or A German

The only person to read this blog is some kind web robot. Here is the comment they left:
" I enjoy reading the stories on your site. Keep up the super articles!"
What kind of comment is that? My guess is that it is a robot designed to promote sports betting. I like to picture an actual robot sitting at a computer looking through people's crappy blogs and posting that comment. What human would want that job?

My other guess is that a person in Germany read that and decided to post a comment in "American." German people are kind of weird like that. Or is it wierd? I don't want to look it up right now. I think it's wierd. PROVE ME WRONG SCIENCE!

Will someone who is not a robot or a German read this? I would wager on no. If you like to make other wagers, just go to the robot/german's link at the bottom of their comment.

Area Man May Have Sharted

A local man may have sharted in his pants early this morning. Finger tests have proved inconclusive. "The man woke up, took a messy shit, and then took a shower. After the shower he was getting dressed when a moist blurple came out," said an eye witness who refused to be identified. "The fact that he just took a shower makes it difficult to detect with just a finger test," a toxicologist on scene said. "We may need to do a butthole inspection in the mirror to truly determine what went on here."

The man was reportedly laying on the couch when he decided to squeeze out what he thought was just noxious gas. However, he may have been mistaken as his sphincter decided to let some juice loose as well. Authorities have secured the area and are treating it like a level 2 biohazard until the toxicologist results come in.